Among the various aspects of life that have their own appropriate “time,” Ecclesiastes 3:7 gives, “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” Judging between the two requires great wisdom. The conscientious will likely grapple with nuances between the two their entire lives (Prov. 15:28). The book of Proverbs is filled with instructions on the use of words and the caution against speaking too much.

My words may also drastically alter another’s reputation. False charges and insinuations made in private conversations harm others (Prov. 11:9). Slander robs a man of his good name, which is more valuable than great riches of silver and gold (Prov. 22:1). The Bible forbids gossip (Rom. 1:29; 2 Cor. 12:20; 1 Tim. 5:13). “He that goeth about as a tale-bearer revealeth secrets; but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth a matter” (Prov. 11:13). Words reveal the character of the one who speaks them (Matt. 12:34; Luke 6:45).

One does not have to reveal secrets when communicating with a wicked person. Silence is one possible response to wickedness (2 Kgs. 18:36; Matt. 26:62, 63; Mark 14:60, 61). One avoids saying things that will be misused. It may not be appropriate for a man to respond to certain evil things said about him. The wise Solomon wrote, “Also take not heed unto all words that are spoken, lest thou hear thy servant curse thee; for oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others” (Eccles. 7:21, 22). Contrariwise, where the Lord’s cause may suffer due to a poor reputation based on false charges, a response to gossip or rumors is required. While Jesus was silent to some inquiries, He also responded to false charges on occasion (John 8:48, 49). Paul was motivated to salvage his reputation in Philippi (Acts 16:37). So sometimes it is necessary to respond to slander.

Take Colossians 4:5-6 as a general rule: “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer each one.” Wisdom should be employed to make the best use of all the opportunities life presents. In the context of the passage, Paul was concerned about saying what he ought to say to further the message of Christ. What one says must be gracious to attract people to the truth. Beyond the ethical test of making sure words are truthful (Eph. 4:25), the question of whether words are needed or beneficial remains. One should speak when the words will be beneficial.

In fulfilling Isaiah 53:9, Jesus is the perfect ethical example of suffering without sinning with His lips, “For hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that ye should follow his steps: who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously” (1 Pet. 2:21-23). Aside from silence or ignoring a question for a while (John 8:6-7), Jesus responded in many other ways to people. Jesus often cited Scriptures when someone asked Him a question (Matt. 12:1-7; 15:1-9; 19:3-5; 22:23-40). He sometimes answered questions with a question of His own (Matt. 21:24-25; Luke 10:26). He sometimes refused to take sides and would lift the question to a matter of higher importance (Luke 12:13-15; 13:1-5). He knew when to gently correct (Luke 10:40-42; John 4:20-24) and when to return critics’ reasoning back on them (John 7:20-24), sharply rebuke (Matt. 23), and use godly sarcasm (Matt. 23:24). Of course, Christians are never going to be perfect in their responses as Jesus was, but He is the ultimate ethical example in speech.

Sometimes when we want to sit down and weep, God wants us to get up and go. Joshua mourned over the defeat at Ai (Joshua 7:6-9), but God told him to get up and sanctify the people by removing the sin that was among Israel (Joshua 7:10-15). Samuel mourned over Saul’s disobedience and rejection as king, but God told him to get up and go to Jesse’s house to anoint the next king (1 Samuel 16:1). It was only after David repented and was forgiven of his sins that he could expect to have the joy of salvation that would be so pivotal in converting sinners to the Lord (Psa. 51:12, 13). Elijah was so discouraged, that he thought he was the only one left serving God (1 Kings 19:14); however, God told of 7,000 who were still serving Him and commanded him to anoint Jehu and Elisha to do His will (1 Kings 19:15-18). Ezra mourned over the people’s unlawful marriages to pagan wives (Ezra 9); however, Shecaniah, after acknowledging the sin, said, “yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing” (Ezra 10:2). He told Ezra to take courage and pursue a plan of making a covenant with God and putting away the unauthorized wives (Ezra 10:3-5).

What if the next time we recognized a problem among God’s people, we did not stop there? Recognizing problems is good. Without that recognition we are like the self-satisfied Laodiceans who could not see their deep spiritual need (Revelation 3:14-17). But Jesus did not stop at showing them their problem. He encouraged them to remedy their problem through repentance, renewed zeal, and letting Him in the door of their hearts (Revelation 3:18-22). Some don’t want to acknowledge any problem in the Lord’s church. Others only want to dwell on problems. But God calls us to be zealous and repent. He calls us to not just to recognition but to action.

Paul’s epistles can often easily be divided into two major sections. The first section is a recognition of what God has done. Consider the first eleven chapters of Romans or the first three chapters of Ephesians. The second section of the epistle urges the audience to action. Romans 12:1 begins the action section with, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” Ephesians 4:1-3 begins the action section with, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” What follows in each of these sections, and at the end of most of Paul’s epistles, are exhortations to proper actions and righteous living. That I have an intellectual understanding of the problem is good, but God wants me to move from there to a practical undertaking to solve the problem.

The Scriptures employ various terms to convey the relationships Christians have with one another. One of the most common ways the Bible does this is using familial terms. Consider the statements Paul made at the end of his epistles, such as, “All the brethren greet you” (1 Corinthians 16:20). Often the term “brethren” appears in Paul’s writings to convey his dear relationships to other Christians.

The metaphor is based on the literal, physical, flesh-and-blood relationships we have. It is natural to have an affection for our own; something is seriously wrong with those “without natural affection”—who don’t care for their own family (Romans 1:31; 2 Timothy 3:3; 1 Timothy 5:8). Paul referred to a literal family when he wrote of “the brethren of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 9:5). Paul was thinking “of James, and Joses, and Juda, and Simon” (Mark 6:3), Jesus’ half-brothers in the family of Joseph and Mary. During His earthly ministry, Jesus’ brethren did not believe in Him (John 7:5). In regard to fraternity, Jesus gave priority to those who had the spiritual interests aligned with His own: “And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to see thee. And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it” (Luke 8:20, 21). It seems from references in the rest of the of the New Testament that at least some the physical family of Jesus believed and became part of the spiritual family of the church. James and Jude wrote NT books that bear their names. After the ascension of Jesus to the Father, His mother Mary and His brethren continued in one accord with the disciples (Acts 1:14).

Under the OT system, every Jew looked back to Abraham as their common ancestor (Matthew 3:9). This is why Ananias called Saul “Brother” in Acts 9:17. It was not because Saul was already saved—and thereby they were spiritual brothers—for Saul had yet to wash away his sins in baptism (Acts 22:16). Ananias and Saul were Jews, descendants of Abraham. Once Saul was baptized, he was born again into the spiritual family of God (John 3:3, 5). At that point Ananias and Saul were not only Jewish brothers, but more importantly brothers in the Lord.

In the church, the family or household of God (1 Timothy 3:15), there is a Father (1 John 3:1) who has begotten us by His word (James 1:18; 1 Peter 1:23). As children of the same Father, Christians are siblings who must behave in a way that glorifies the Father. We are commanded not be at the family fellowship table with one who is called a brother that does not live according to the Scriptures, unless the erring brother repents (1 Corinthians 5:11). Jesus, in a sense, is an older brother, because He is the firstborn among many brethren (Romans 8:29). He is not ashamed to call us brethren because of our common experiences; He is one with those He sanctifies (Hebrews 2:11).

As Christians, we should add “brotherly love” to our hearts, by being kind and affectionate toward each other (Romans 12:10; 2 Peter 1:7). God has showed us how to love each other (1 Thessalonians 4:9). When we were so influenced by God’s love that we decided to purify our souls by obeying the truth, we did so unto unfeigned (or genuine) love of the brethren; therefore, we should love one another fervently from the heart (1 Peter 1:22). Where brotherly love exists, we must let it continue (Hebrews 13:1).