“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). God intends marriage to be for a lifetime. Aside from one exception (Mt. 5:32; 19:9), God considers a married couple bound to each other until death. If a woman’s husband dies, then she is free to remarry. Some have argued that “only in the Lord” in 1 Corinthians 7:39 means the widow can only marry a Christian man. Is this the case?

First, consider Paul’s statement earlier in the chapter about marriage to a non-Christian, “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him” (1 Cor. 7:12-13). If one goes to 2 Corinthians 6:14—a passage where marriage is not the subject—to prove that marriage to a non-Christian is a sin, then one makes Paul to contradict himself. In 1 Cor. 7:12-13, he tells the believer not to separate from their unbelieving spouse, yet in the other passage he writes, “come out from among them, and be ye separate” (2 Cor. 6:17). Paul is not speaking of marriage in 2 Corinthians 6. The non-Christian can be influenced by the godly conduct of their Christian spouse (1 Cor. 7:14; 1 Pet. 3:1-4).
Some actions are not the wisest course, but are not sin. Marriage to a Christian is often the wiser course, but it does not seem to be an absolute requirement in the NT. If “only in the Lord” in 1 Cor. 7:39 means a widow can only marry a Christian, then it is difficult to provide an answer to why she would be allowed to be married to a non-Christian in her first marriage (1 Cor. 7:12-13), but not in a subsequent marriage after her first husband died.
It seems best to regard “only in the Lord” in 1 Corinthians 7:39 as meaning “according to the teaching of the Lord.” That is, she is free to remarry any man who has the right to be married according to the Lord’s teaching. The preposition “in” (ἐν en in the Grk.) can often mean “according to” in this sense. For example, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Eph. 6:1). Are children only to obey Christian parents? If a non-Christian parent commands a child to do something that is proper and right, then the child should obey. The force of “in the Lord” is not the spiritual location of the parent, but rather the child acting according to the Lord’s will. It is parallel to this phrase, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Col. 3:18). Or consider Romans 8:8 “So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.” This does not mean while we are in our physical bodies we can’t please the Lord, rather, as the context shows, those who walk “after the flesh” (vv. 4, 5).
Thus, a widow may marry again. She may marry any man who has God’s approval to marry. Obviously, a man who has put away his wife for some reason other than fornication is not eligible by the Lord for approved remarriage (Mt. 19:9). Thus, Paul is qualifying his phrase “she is at liberty to be married to whom she will” when he adds “only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). The Lord gives us liberty in certain areas of life. Let us abide by His teachings, neither restricting the liberty He has provided, nor going beyond the bounds He has set.
-Mark Day



