God is the author of marriage and the home. He created man and woman to be joined together as long as they live (Gen. 2:24; Mt. 19:4-6; Rom. 7:1-3). He desires for humans to be fruitful and multiply and have dominion over all things on the earth (Gen. 1:27, 28). The devil has been relentless in his attacks on the home. If marriages fail and homes are ruptured, then souls become more vulnerable to the devil’s devices. Marriage is intended to prevent fornication (1 Cor. 7:2), but divorced people can be in a place where they are more tempted to commit sexual sin (Mt. 5:32). Children of divorced parents are often deprived of the blessing of the united wisdom of both father and mother in their home (Prov. 4:3; 6:20; 23:22; 30:17).

This is not to say there is no hope outside of marriage. Single people can focus solely on serving the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32). A divorced person can be a very dedicated disciple (1 Cor. 7:15). Some have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake (Mt. 19:12). The other parent of your children may not share the faith and convictions you have in Christ, but you can still influence your children for good (1 Cor. 7:12-14; Acts 16:1; 2 Tim. 1:5). Children whose parents are not married can rise above their circumstances and honor the Lord with their lives (Ezek. 18:14).

Yet, a marriage which remains intact is the Lord’s intention. Instead of a consumer approach to marriage—where each party is primarily focused on if they are happy with what they are getting out of the marriage—we must go back to the way the Bible teaches we should view marriage. Marriage is a covenant. In Malachi 2:14-16 the Lord says through the prophet:

[T]he LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant: But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

In a covenant, the relationship is more important than the individual’s personal benefits derived at any given juncture. Because marriage is a covenant made to one’s spouse and to God, Christians are to behave a certain way toward their spouses based on God’s commands regardless of whether they believe their spouses deserve good treatment. Husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25-29. This means they are giving (Eph. 5:25). They show consideration (Col. 3:19). They dwell with them with understanding (1 Pet. 3:7). Wives respect their husbands (Eph. 5:33; 1 Pet. 3:1). They do not run them down to others nor constantly criticize. They learn from older women, who have been married longer, to show love to their husbands by respecting them (Titus 2:4; 1 Pet. 3:1, 5, 6).

May the Lord help us in our efforts to have good marriages which honor God. May we have godly homes as a result where children can benefit from the love and harmony God intended rather than the dysfunction and isolation, which so often plague homes today.