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Working Toward Strong Marriages

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God is the author of marriage and the home. He created man and woman to be joined together as long as they live (Gen. 2:24; Mt. 19:4-6; Rom. 7:1-3). He desires for humans to be fruitful and multiply and have dominion over all things on the earth (Gen. 1:27, 28). The devil has been relentless in his attacks on the home. If marriages fail and homes are ruptured, then souls become more vulnerable to the devil’s devices. Marriage is intended to prevent fornication (1 Cor. 7:2), but divorced people can be in a place where they are more tempted to commit sexual sin (Mt. 5:32). Children of divorced parents are often deprived of the blessing of the united wisdom of both father and mother in their home (Prov. 4:3; 6:20; 23:22; 30:17).

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This is not to say there is no hope outside of marriage. Single people can focus solely on serving the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32). A divorced person can be a very dedicated disciple (1 Cor. 7:15). Some have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake (Mt. 19:12). The other parent of your children may not share the faith and convictions you have in Christ, but you can still influence your children for good (1 Cor. 7:12-14; Acts 16:1; 2 Tim. 1:5). Children whose parents are not married can rise above their circumstances and honor the Lord with their lives (Ezek. 18:14).

Yet, a marriage which remains intact is the Lord’s intention. Instead of a consumer approach to marriage—where each party is primarily focused on if they are happy with what they are getting out of the marriage—we must go back to the way the Bible teaches we should view marriage. Marriage is a covenant. In Malachi 2:14-16 the Lord says through the prophet:

[T]he LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant: But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

In a covenant, the relationship is more important than the individual’s personal benefits derived at any given juncture. Because marriage is a covenant made to one’s spouse and to God, Christians are to behave a certain way toward their spouses based on God’s commands regardless of whether they believe their spouses deserve good treatment. Husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25-29. This means they are giving (Eph. 5:25). They show consideration (Col. 3:19). They dwell with them with understanding (1 Pet. 3:7). Wives respect their husbands (Eph. 5:33; 1 Pet. 3:1). They do not run them down to others nor constantly criticize. They learn from older women, who have been married longer, to show love to their husbands by respecting them (Titus 2:4; 1 Pet. 3:1, 5, 6).

May the Lord help us in our efforts to have good marriages which honor God. May we have godly homes as a result where children can benefit from the love and harmony God intended rather than the dysfunction and isolation, which so often plague homes today.

-Mark Day

Jesus: The True Friend

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Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” A friend is there for you at all sorts of times in your life. A man who is a true friend will be there for you even when it costs him. We all need true friends. We need friends who will be candid with us when we are wrong. Proverbs 9:8 says, “Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.” Perhaps one of the big problems we face today is few people will accept rebuke. Few have friends that are willing tell them when they are wrong from a motivation of love desiring what is best for another. Many deem it too costly to risk angering another with the truth. However, true friends value what is best for us above a surface-level tranquility. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

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Jesus is the paragon of a true friend. His sayings are not always easy to hear, but they are what we need. He has the words of eternal life (Jn. 6:68). In John 15:12-17, Jesus said:

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. These things I command you, that ye love one another.

Jesus is the greatest friend because He laid down His life for us. Being there for us when could not save ourselves cost Him everything (Rom. 5:6-9). If the wounds of a true friend are faithful, how much more of a blessing are they if they are borne instead of inflicted? Isaiah 53:5 tells us that Jesus “was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” The wounds of our greatest friend were not inflicted on us but suffered by Him on the cross for us (1 Pet. 2:24).

Jesus invites us into the fellowship He sustains with the Father, saying earlier in John 15 to His disciples, “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love” (Jn. 15: 9, 10). The Father and Son are eternally one (Jn. 1:1-3; 10:30; 17:21). When we are baptized into the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, we enter into fellowship with God (Mt. 28:19). As long as we continue in the teaching of Christ, we have both the Father and the Son (2 Jn. 9). God—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit—invite you to come into the love of friendship which unites the saved (Isa. 55:1; Mt. 11:28-30; Rev. 22:17).

-Mark Day